Suzanne Roynon is our Content Creation specialist in Feng Shui and Interiors Therapy. She’s also the author of bestselling ‘Welcome Home, How Stuff Makes or Breaks your Relationship’ which includes the ‘Manifesto for Love™’, the blueprint to happy, healthy, lasting love, which was previously only used with VIP relationship clients!
Here she offers insight on adding a positive slant to preparing for love – if that’s what you are looking for! Love it or loathe it, Valentine’s Day will soon be upon us, and if you’re one of the singles who genuinely would love to meet someone special, it’s a good plan to make sure your home is working in synchronicity with your heart’s desires.
As an interiors therapy and feng shui expert, many people come to me because their lives aren’t going to plan in some way. Of course, for lots of them it’s about their relationship (or lack of it) and a big FOMO situation when friends and colleagues are coupled up while they spend nights and holidays alone. Valentines Day isn’t much fun from the outside looking in.
What I want to say first of all is that before you even dip your toe in the dating pond, (or pong as my autocorrect just suggested) you have to like yourself just as you are and be happy and content with the life you have. Why? Well, if you don’t feel great about who you are, then why would anyone else want to spend time with you? That’s often quite a hefty realisation to reach and when I got there myself, it was as though the door opened to a whole new perspective.
Essentially the energy you exude to magnetise your dream lover should come from your best self, because anything less is going to be needy and potentially a bit desperate – and that’s only going to attract disappointment in the dating department and a repeat of previous toxic twerps creeping into your life.
So, let’s get focused, here and now, on the good things you can do to upgrade the happiness quotient in your life, so that whether or not Valentine’s Day works out for you in 2024, you’ll find the inner-vibrancy which will invite someone who will cherish and love you the way you love them. There is a myriad of things I can suggest to tune up your positive vibes, but the most important is to be sure your living environment is conducive to you and the life you want for yourself. If you don’t have that firm foundation, you will always be one step away.
1. Reject the Remnants of Previous Relationships
You’ve heard about decluttering, but in all likelihood if you’ve did it without using interiors therapy methods, a couple of frustrating months later you needed to do it all over again. There’s a reason for that, as Aristotle said, “Nature abhors a vacuum” which in real terms means that if you don’t replace the negativity of clutter with some positive energy, it just creeps back.
Interiors Therapy goes deeper because it delves into the possessions you don’t use, need or love, and empowers you to release them. When there is no heavy or stagnant energy festering in your home you’ll automatically feel loads better. The bonus is that you develop a low tolerance for the feelings of overwhelm which are inevitable in a cluttered room and you won’t even buy the stuff which ultimately becomes more clutter.
You didn’t expect money saving tips in an article for a retail site did you? That’s what makes ufurnish.com so special, because the company inspires you to create a happier, healthier and more uplifting home.
It’s always preferable to choose items which will add real value to your life, the things which serve you and, yes, ‘bring joy’, without weighing you down or pushing the good vibes away. Which takes me back to why it’s a very good thing to ditch the remnants of past relationships before you start looking for a new one.
Imagine you meet someone new and go to their home for the first time, on the walls there are photos of their ex, perhaps clothes in the wardrobe, toothbrush in the bathroom. If you walk into a situation like that then your alarm bells are ringing – and if they aren’t then they should be!
The thing is, you might have gifts, cards, photos or mementoes which at a subconscious level attach you just as strongly to your ex. Maybe you’ve forgotten they are there. They could be tucked away in drawers or at the back of cupboards, but they create the same subconscious alarm bells for someone coming into your life, because the energy of your ex is still right there with you and there isn’t room for someone new.
So my first Valentine’s VavaVoom is to go through your home from top to bottom and remove anything which reminds you of an ex.
2. Activate the Feng Shui Love area
I like to use traditional or compass Feng Shui as it supercharges homes and the lives of the people who live in them. I’d always recommend having a bespoke report prepared for your property as it will identify the house type, which is incredibly valuable information, and also give you all you need to amplify positive energy in the home to increase happiness, love, wellbeing and success.
If that’s a bit ‘woo’, ease yourself in gently by using the compass on your smartphone to identify the area of your home which sits in the Southwest. This is your ‘love and relationships’ area, and depending on what you are keeping there, it can explain a lot about what’s happening in your life.
This is the part of your home where you really want to have things in pairs like these table lamps which come in a pair from Habitat:
Or this two-light beauty from Fenwick:
Pair energy is powerful, not just for encouraging the energy of a partner, but also to bring balance and harmony regardless of marital status. It’s no surprise you’ll find devoted couples buy items in twos, whilst singletons opt for the solo article. The danger comes of course when you add the power of three into the Southwest by grouping items together as a trio, even though three looks good, it has a nasty habit of resulting in infidelity or a wandering eye.
With décor items, again, think in twos, this Libra sculpture of a couple on a swing is great because the people are connected, facing in the same direction and focused on sharing the experience with one another – and that’s a great starting point in any relationship.
Valentine’s VavaVoom 2 is to activate your love area.
3. Welcome in love at the front door
Visualise your front door – is it clean, fresh and welcoming? If not, you’re diminishing the quality of energy you are inviting into your home.
Halls and lobbies are another place where we can accidentally reject or even block the flow of positive ‘Chi’ or lifeforce energy, and if you and your home are energetically depleted, that’s going to be reflected in the quality of love you attract, and also leave you feeling less than enchanted with your daily life.
Maintain a neat and organised hallway, keep the coat rack manageable so there is always space for a guest to hang a jacket.
This antique brass option by Graham and Green looks both stylish and contemporary:
Avoid using the lobby to dump shoes, boots and trainers, but if there’s genuinely nowhere else to put them, rather than trip up your guests, take control beautifully with a storage option which keeps them close at hand. This cabinet by Homary is both practical and decorative – a rare combination which is much appreciated in feng shui.
If you’re blessed to have space for elegance, position a console table and mirror at right angles to the front door. It will make the space feel wider and give you somewhere to display fresh flowers or another representation of pair energy. I love to have drawers in a console to keep keys, umbrella and sunglasses handy for the door.
This Sweetpea and Willow console is gorgeous for a traditional home:
whereas a more modern space would suit this industrial design by Choice Furniture:
Why do we place mirrors at right angles to the door? It’s because a mirror opposite the door will bounce the positive energy straight back out of your home, and no one wants that!
Valentine’s VavaVoom 3 is to welcome love when it steps through the door.
4. Balance the bedroom
We’ve talked in a previous blog about bringing balance into a relationship by using symmetry and strength in the bedroom.
If you’ve struggled with a lopsided partnership previously it might be that the nightstands on either side of the bed were different shapes or sizes. My client Jilly had a spindly second-hand round table on her side of the bed, whilst her husband had a huge, solid wooden chest of drawers on his. It was no surprise to learn that he was domineering while she felt small, unappreciated and unloved (just like the table.) Jilly sought help when it seemed her 30-year marriage was on the rocks. She used interiors therapy to bring the balance back into her life and the love reignited at the same time. Result!
Jilly and her husband chose these bedside cabinets by Bensons for Beds because they are stable, with rounded corners and have useful drawers to hide away bedside necessities. Equality in the bedroom, regardless of marital status, will bring a sense of stability to every sleeper.
Valentines VaVaVoom 4 is to bring harmony into the bedroom.
5. The way to their heart
At some point you’ll want to cook for your beloved, and there’s something truly entrancing about devoting time and attention to one another over good food and a table set for two.
Feng shui recommends a round table like this breath-taking elm design from Rockett St George:
The theory behind choosing a round table is that no one sits at the ‘head’ and is therefore above anyone else sharing the repast. However, in modern homes space is often quite tight, so if a round table is just impractical, an oval table has rounded edges which avoid one of the feng shui bad guys, an energy called ‘poison arrow’ which is caused by pointed edges facing into a space.
This Zuri table by Dunelm is perfect for a narrow room:
Make meals a time of connection and love, and make it a habit to eat at a table rather than in front of the TV whenever you can. A couple that eats together stays together, and you’re more likely to choose healthy, nourishing food when preparing food to share, rather than snacking or resorting to takeout. It’s also great for digestion, which is reassuring when you’re getting serious about one another and ready to take things to the next level.
Valentine’s VavaVoom 5 – a table for two por favor.
6. Valentine’s VavaVoom 6 – Peach Blossom
You might have heard of using Peach Blossom remedy for love and thought it involved adding some fresh peach blossom flowers to your home. Alas, it’s not that simple! Peach Blossom in this context is a water remedy which has to be used in a particular way. It is a powerful and somewhat indiscriminate way to attract new love into a home, so it’s crucial to know the type of person, their values, attitudes and so much more before you activate the remedy. Without preparation, potential partners of all ages, backgrounds and persuasions can turn up, leaving you reeling and looking for the ‘off switch’. You can find out more about writing your Manifesto for Love™ in my book ‘Welcome Home, How Stuff Makes or Breaks your Relationship’.
You also need to exercise caution if you share your home with someone who already has a partner, as Peach Blossom works for everyone, which can make things rather awkward.
A traditional feng shui expert will be able to identify whether you have access to Peach Blossom energy during 2024 and if so, what you need to activate it. My dear friend tells me she is ready to open her heart again, and her feng shui report says she can activate it in the east of her apartment. I’ve suggested she starts the process with this stunning metal vase from Perch and Parrow and then braces herself for the suitors to queue up for her attention.
ufurnish.com have everything you need to nurture the furniture and décor energy in your home for quality love, and it’s always my first stop when I’m working with my clients.
If you’d like to know more about Feng Shui and whether you can activate Peach Blossom energy in your home in 2024 book a taster call here.